Tim E: "Damn! Everytime I go into the bathroom and step up the urinal, the song "Gigantor" comes on."

Mitch Ansay: "Mommy, does the Grim Reaper wear underpants?"

Sudie: "Once you hit 50, you like your men dumb and hot; just like always"

Mitch Ansay (4 years old): "Mommy, what are those?"
Janet: "Those are breasts."
Mitch: "What are they for?"
Janet: "Well, when you were a baby, you drank milk from them. Bye!" (runs down the hall).
Mitch (chasing after her): "Wait! How did I reach them?"
Janet: "I picked you up."
Mitch: "Can I have some milk now?"
Janet: "No, I don't make milk any more."
Mitch: "Why, did you break them?"

Sudie: "Howard, why don't you just suck my estrogen patch. That's all I have to say. Then maybe you'll be more sensitive to my needs."