Tuesday, May 31, 2005

grandma: "I'm getting married."
son: "Mom, if I married someone that I've only known for 3 weeks, you'd go through the roof!"
grandma: "Don, I'm 81. I don't have time for that 'getting to know you' crap."

Thursday, May 12, 2005

LZ: "Everybody says I'm yoda. I'm not! I'm princess Leia."

Thursday, May 05, 2005

JP: "She'd bring whatever little dogs she had at the time to parties and social events and expect everyone to treat them like children."

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

girlfriend: "Ok, Mr. Space alien... what have you done with my boyfriend?"
space alien: "I'm too good in bed to be human."