LW: "Vacations keep you from choking people."

SJ: "There are two words that don't belong in the same sentence: men and cosmetics."

RR: "Jack's Big Music Show. Best M&E ever!"

HD: "You two should come to this party. AH is bringing a date. Oops. I'm not sure I should have mentioned that."
MW: "We can behave!!!! Right LH?"
LH: "Oh my god! They could hear the gasp of outrage in the next room!"
HD: "Yeah, I heard it up here in Rogers Park. And I had earphones on. And a firetruck went by."

SW: "There is no "I" in "can't".

MW: "Do you have water in your building now?
JE: "Oh yeah. It's not running. But it's in the building."

RD: "I've been in this business... oh I don't know how long now. But I've never been asked to (note from client: "flash the transexual's penis green").

LH: "You're late! You're becoming the Howard of your gender."

SC: "You know, that doesn't sound right. You deserve to be happy. You are a very beautiful woman and you deserve to have what you want. And while you're at it, you could eat a cheeseburger or two."