JE: "I love how you can go to any ATM in the world and get cash. Even Cambodia. I once had a million dong in my pocket. This big wad. It was worth about $50."

MM: "I was sitting with my husband in Vegas and we thought we'd play Keno at lunch. So I said let's play your birthday numbers, my birthday numbers, our anniversary..."
MK: "When is our anniversary?"
MM: "Yesterday. Remember? We got married?!"

ES: "I love this new mouse. I can click and drag again."
LS: "Doesn't clicking and dragging lead to drug use?"

LW: "I think if you don't eat meat, you're a pussy somehow."

AS: "M., will you take a look at my resume and tell me what you think."
MM: "I think you should put your name on it."
AS: "Oh, I guess it got cut off."
BM: "She's not into labels."
MM: "Yeah, but it speaks so much about who you are."

JP: "So, remember last week, at the end of an email... you said maybe you like me a little bit? And then yesterday you sent a text message saying that you are falling in love with brussel sprouts. So, I guess I rank somewhere below a vegetable with you."

SC: "Hey, your chin is red. Have you been kissing someone with a beard?"
LL: "Busted!"
SC: "Well, I only know because I was doing the same thing last night."

TG (to bride): "Wow, Marlene. You look really different. You look
pretty."