LW: "My band played at the Metro Friday night. And I had on a T-shirt that said, 'I have the biggest dick in the band.'"
MW: "Leonard! Weren't you ashamed? Your mother was there!"
LW: "Kinda."

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.:"
- Martin Luther King, Jr., 1963

hd: "So, I saw some animal poop the other day.... and I know it's not my dog's. But it was kind of runny... and it had hair in it."
ah: "Eh em. Let me just swallow what I had in my mouth."
hd: "I'm sorry. I was just being clinical."
ah: "Oh, yes. Well, I'm so glad you were being clinical."

Girls chatting: "Eewww. Gross. So-n-So kissed me."
Boys Listening: "You should take that whole bottle of Purel and pour it on your head."

jp: "I'm getting a voice over IP phone. No, that's not the same as the secret squirrel phone..."

(overheard during a taping) Gaia: "Jim Jim is standing too close to MY magic rainbow."

RR: "Sometimes technical people forget about quality."

MW: "What dubs do you have to do?"
DF: "Well, I have 'Crabs'...."

ESPN: "2004 Long Drive Competition."
MP: "Why would we watch 2004. What is this - old?"
LZ: "No, it's present."

drf: "Man. I ate some of that cake. I think I'm going to have nuts in my mouth for a week!"