MP: “I just swallowed my gum. Do you think that’s bad if I swallow my gum all the time?”
JP: “There would be a lot of dead kids lying around if it were that bad for you.”

MG: "You know, um, Pat... I think I wanna Buff-a-Que."

PC: "Yes, I'm making a video for the IEPA about people who have little mini wetlands on their property."
SJ: "Well, I have a mini wetland in my laundry room!"

RR: "So we tried this new Korean BBQ restaurant last night. Weird place but the food was really great!"
SF: (senior citizen) "You know, mother doesn't like the Asians."

DW: "I don't know anything about beer. All I know is pilsen."

EH: "When we were young, and my sister (who has diabetes) was mean to me... I would say to her 'you know, someday you're going to need a kidney from me and I'm not going to give it to you!'."