JC : "I went in at noon and had my daughter at 1:30! Because I didn't have a clue. I mean.... it was kinda hurting."

MW: "So, we're doing the Five Boros bike ride. You start in Battery Park, ride around Brooklyn, etc. to Staten Island. Then you ride back from Staten Island to Battery Park on a free ferry.
HD: "I'd like a free fairy."

JP: "Even if you have spell check on, you gotta check it. At least in the early days of 'word replacement' ... in an accounts report I did, it made all of my client's warehouses into whorehouses."

PY: "Skip Masters?! What a bad name for an editor!"

LW: "I have a theory: God made the weather cold again because people's feet weren't ready. I saw some guy in sandals on the L with nasty toenails."

PY (talking on the phone to his pregnant wife): ".... because your fat butt broke it."

CF: "My spreadsheets talk to each other."

LW: "When I was little my mama used to say: 'get a hat on your head or you're gonna catch pneumonia in yo ass!'."
TW: "I would have said, 'Hey, I'm 4 years old! Bitch!'."